I am starting my first blog on September 1, 2005. That is how hip and cool I am. I've thought about doing a blog for so long, and now that I have finally gotten around to it, I'm almost caving to the pressure to be profound whilst typing my first entry.

Oh, my. This doesn't bode well.

I started to fill out some of the profile, but I got bored with that...the questions/categories seem so banal. Frankly, I'd prefer to fill in certain blanks as we go along, peeling away the layers like a burlesque girl, until I'm totally but not really naked before you.

Hmmm, I think that things are picking up.

Here are the basics for now. I'm too old to still be living at home, but I am. This is partly my fault, due to an inability to commit to a vocation, an incessant desire to learn, and an inferiority complex which prevents me from acknowledging what I'm good at and taking money for it. I have a bachelor's degree in English and Psychology, and therefore I work in the service industry.

I hate it. But it's a vicious cycle that isn't easily escaped, especially for me. I'm going back to school in a couple of weeks, and that is one of the reasons I started this blog: to chronical my impending success.

And to bitch.

Anyhow, lets review. I live at home (and that's no dream, I'm telling you), and I hate my job/life. Therefore, I'm miserable.

(I'm now explaining my blog's title. Bonus points if you can identify which sitcom it came from.)

I'm little only in terms of height. Bless genetics, I got a lovely mix of my parent's best traits. My mom's height (well, I'm slightly taller than her 4'11", being a lanky 5'5", but not quite 5'11" like my dad), and my dad's "stature", which means that I weigh 180 pds. I've always worn the "husky" size. But I'm lucky in that I have fairly broad shoulders and chest, so I don't look too fat. But according to the "experts", I am overweight. Whatever. I'll have to chat about my sugar addiction later.

Biscuit is a bit of a cheat, because I'm using in the British sense of biscuit = cookie. Therefore, the "biscuit whore" part refers to my love of cookies (see "sugar addiction" in later posts), and the fact that I make pretty good cookies myself. One day, I may sell them. But in the interim, I'd pretty much do anything for a cookie.

And lets get this straight right now: no cookies should have raisins in them. Raisins are the devil's fruit (hence the shrinkage).

Well, that's the name in a nut shell. By the way, nuts are okay in cookies, as long as they aren't walnuts.

Now, I've noticed that blog-folks are always talking about the minute details of their day, and/or commenting on the big picture.

Here are the details from my day: I'm still ferrying my parents around because they are somewhat unable to do so themselves.

There are many reasons for each of them. Mom: has MS, a heart condition, vertigo, and sometimes forgets. Dad: has a lung problem (hopefully not pre-cancerous), a heart problem (waiting for a double-bypass), and a back problem (waiting for surgery).

Anyhow, today's errands involved taking my mom to the clinic to get a prescription renewal, taking me to the chiropractor (anything to get rid of the headaches), taking mom to the pharmacy to pick up another prescription, and taking her to one specific grocery store to pick up chinese food (take-out), and chicken to cook for the dog (the only person she cooks for, and frankly, it's better that way). She has to go to this one grocery store because they have the best chicken, and only the best will do for the dog. And I don't mind that, because he is a super dog (no cape...they're dangerous), and he deserves it. He does a lot of peace-keeping around here. Photos of the dog will be posted soon, when I figure out how to do it.

Well, I'm getting tired now, and I haven't even commented on world events. What could I possibly have to say that John Stewart hasn't already said, and said it better. So for now, I'll leave that kind of stuff to the professionals.

I have considered just listing all the things I am interested in as a cheap way to create an audience, but for now, I'm going to resist the temptation.

For now.