It's Saturday night, and I'm blogging and researching for an article. My life is so full.

So I thought that I'd share the misery that is reflected in my daily work correspondence. Episodes such as the following email exchange rile my inner Wegnerd, and it's all I can do to retain my composure and perservere through the business-speak and overinflated language. Oh, and it's also tough to keep myself from bitchslapping people with a dictionary and a syntax guide.

Read and enjoy your own confusion. Nothing has been changed or omitted to protect the ignorant.

The other guy starts: "Please issue to Wing Chan for records in Agile and Corey N and David B so they can communicate to Hitron."

Me: "I just need to clarify. Do you want me to send this to Wing Chan so he can put it in Agile, or do you want me to put it in Agile and then forward to Wing Chan?"

The Other Guy: "Have the final been issued to our supplier already. You can work thru Agile record keeping with Wing."

Me (to myself): What the fuck does that mean? Is that a question, a statement, or a demand? Have I gone crazy? Have I suddenly lost my power to comprehend? How do I respond to this? Why couldn't he have just answered the question? Why am I here? Is this a test?

I think that I'll just go home and deal with this tomorrow.

When I talked to him the next day, he admitted that he often writes emails too quickly and omits words. He then proceeded to not answer the question and tell me a bunch of things I didn't need to know.

This exchange proves that you can earn a master's degree, and yet still not master the art of communication.