Last year, around this time, I would have been first in line to be king of the pissy blogs. I was frustrated, angry, disappointed. What a difference a year makes. I'm nervous to even admit that things are going fairly well. I find all this goodness discomforting. I'm eternally fearful of the twisted humour of the karma gods, even though I have little to be afraid of. I'm relatively pleasant. I try to treat others as I would like to be treated. I try to leave very few footprints on the earth. Which is why I was confused for years about how things were in my life.

There were years of bad times. And it's difficult to reconcile with those years because if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be where I am today. It's a good place, but still, if I could, I would turn back the clock and change a few things, even if it meant a different, less good outcome.

In a way, I feel bad for having things to be thankful for when some people don't. My friends are struggling to find things to be thankful for this season. I sympathize and I understand . I'm hoping for betterness in your near futures (especially you, Meladuck...because no one needs a double assault on their personal appearance. First the haircut, and then the shower!)

But just so everyone out there knows, it still isn't all sunshine and roses for me. All this goodness with which I've been blessed (I'm not getting all religious on you...don't worry) would mean so much more if I could share it with the one person who believed in me so much, my sister. But maybe it is with her help that I've been able pull it together in the last few years. (That's more spiritual than religious...big difference.)

And I promise to do my best to help my friends so that next year, they can be thankful and not angry.

____________________

PS: I wasn't all this sunshiney on Friday. After my $30 haircut (it took her 20 minutes to do it...you do the math. Rip off!), I went shopping. I was behind a "mother" (I use that term loosely) and her infant son in the lineup at the check-out. During the transaction, the kid started whining and crying. In a loud voice (for the benefit of us overhearers...she wanted to include us in the discourse), she said to the kid "I don't know why you're acting like this." I exchanged looks with the tillgirls which said "well we do, asshole. He's fucking tired." There was dead silence during the rest of the transaction. After she left, the two tillgirls started talking. One had "been there before" herself. While they were talking, I wondered if she or this other careless mother had the sense to take their kids home for their naps. I doubt it. There's no testing or licensing required to have kids. You just need the biology.