The tears have finally stopped, I can now blog. I had to thinly slice two large onions to make pan-fried onion dip. My mother is having family over tomorrow night for snacks and birthday cake. It's a dual-birthday night, as my dad and I were both born in the same month. I was supposed to be born on his birthday April 22, but was 3 weeks premature, which means (for the less-astute), that it was my birthday last weekend. Please don't feel shunned or shut out. I purposefully keep my birthday low-key.

Why, you ask? Let's review...my birthday is April 1st. That means that for the first 12 years of my life, my birthday was a miserable affair. Don't get me wrong. My parents made every effort to make sure that our birthdays were memorable. I was just talking to maikopunk today about an ice-cream place called Farrell's (I'm not certain that's the correct spelling) which was apparently a popular local birthday destination. It was an old-fashioned ice cream parlour kind of place, heavily decorated in red and white, and was on the lower level of the Lougheed Mall. It stands out for the fact that it was an old-fashioned ice cream parlour, and also because the mall was the first place around here with the sloping moving sidewalk (escalator without stairs), and you had to take it to get to Farrell's. Doubly memorable. But it didn't really matter how much my parents tried to make my birthdays memorable, there was always some jackass (usually a particular cousin) who couldn't resist the temptation of April Fools Day, and pull some mean trick on me. Mind you, it never was as bad as the uncles who used to tickle me until I peed myself, but at least that stopped when I got a little older. My birthday still puts me on guard.

Please ask me to tell stories about other birthdays, especially the time my parents nearly got arrested for kidnapping and could have been banned from the US.

Anyhow, as per usual, I have to make the family-favoured Pan Fried Onion Dip. This is a recipe that my sister got from one of her cookbooks (one by the Barefoot Contessa/slob Ina Garten). While I don't recommend Ina Garten, I do recommend this recipe. So here it is.

Thinly slice 2 large yellow onions any way you like, as long as the pieces are about 1/8 inch thick. In a pan, heat 4 tbsp butter and 1/4 cup veggie oil on medium heat. When hot and melty, add the onions, 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper, 1 tsp kosher salt, and 1/2 tsp regular pepper. Saute for 10 minutes on medium heat, and then reduce the heat to med-low (en-dash) for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. You want the onions to caramelize (get golden and good). Let the onions cool.

Once the onions are cool, whiz them through your food processor (unless you like chunky dip). In the bowl of an electric mixer, put 4 ounces of room-temp cream cheese. Blend until smooth. Add 1/2 cup sour cream and 1/2 cup mayonnaise. Blend. Add onions. Blend. Put in bowl. Open a bag of chips or get out the raw veggies, dip, and enjoy. It's super-yummy.