The Happiest Place on Earth?

Having learned so much about professionalism and readiness during the last 2 years, I'm still on hiatus from the job search. I figure that I'm due one more weekend of nothingness (except taxes), before I start on the odious task of finding work. Besides, it's been raining for forty days and forty nights, and I lack the energy for doing anything other than logging in screen time. Recent research tells me that's why Canadian kids are obese; I'm no argument to the contrary.

So here I am, lounging in my office chair in front of the computer, watching a dvd I bought at Christmas but never had time to watch. It's a tacky, silly, nostalgic thing...a limited edition release if Disney memorabilia released in the Walt Disney Treasures series. Perfectly suiting my interest in Disneyland, this dvd set, called "Your Host Walt Disney" features several of the Disneyland television episodes. I like these dvds because they show the history and the inside scoop of the place.

But more importantly, these dvds also recall a time when everyone was happily suppressed, when a knowing smile and nod between Mousketeers apparently spoke volumes. Watching these dvds today, that same glance means so much more. When they pull faces at each other or for the camera ("mugging" is the term, I think), it's almost as if they are mocking each other. "See you in obscurity ," one smirks to the other. "Catch you never," grins the other.

Back in 1957, when the particular episode I just watched was filmed for Disneyland's Fourth anniversary, the key players were multi-talented show kids who grew into obscurity. This isn't much different than the kids of the most recent incarnation, except there seems to be a higher percentage of kids who failed to launch the show biz careers their parents probably wanted so much for them. Of the ones I could pick out in the crowd (sadly, even though they all wore shirts with their names, only a few stood out), only Annette Funicello is memorable. The only other recognizable cast member was BobbyBurgess, whose great height and stilted, caluculated dancing made him stand out from the crowd. As an adult, he had a tacky career as lead dancer on The Lawrence Welk Show. Each week, he tapped his way into viewers' hearts, while his frozen showbiz smile and natural ability with "jazz hands" never betrayed his disappointment in having to share the stage with acts such as The Blenders and The Hotsy Totsy Boys. I can't imagine his disappointment in knowing that he once danced with Frankie's girl, but then he had to spend his life dodging those effing bubbles. While he's high-kicking, he's probably imagining kicking the ass of that peanut butter bitch Annette.

And funnily enough, the devil spawn that resulted from the most recent incarnation have grown to be today's mega stars (Britney, Xtina, Justin, and Ryan), and the not-so-mega stars (JC and Keri). Apparently the formula still works: grab some marginally talented kids, grow them up quick, make them immitate popular culture, and put it on tv. That's entertainment. And it's not at all damaging. Ryan seems to be the most well-adjusted, and that's probably because no one know he was on The Mickey Mouse Club. Britney and Xtina turned into showbiz whores, and both Britney and Keri had hair issues. And Justin is just lame.

But not as lame as the original crew. During this anniversary special, the kids banded together and forced Uncle Walt to listen to their proposal for a Wizard of Oz movie. The premise is that the kids are worried about their futures beyond their Mousketeer stardom (smirk), so they want to produce, write, choreograph, costume design their version of the story of Oz. The pretentious crew of future has-beens have even decided to add new characters! Brilliant, except for the cheese-factor that figures into the whole production. It's quite ironic coming from the House of Mouse. Their version of Oz has a jazz soundtrack (yay, jazz hands), which is just wrong. The television show's ending, which draws a "suffering cats" from Uncle Walt (presumably a comment on the kids' shrill singing...none of the boys have yet reached puberty), sees the kids prance up a giant cake, clutching sparklers. It's cheese-tacular, and I kind of love it.

I can't wait to see the next episode.

Edited April 28:

This morning, the soundtrack for the daily doggy walk was exclusively The Beautiful South. In the queue was a song I don't ever remember hearing, but the lyrics fit in eerily with this post:

The world is turning Disney and there's nothing you can do.
You're trying to walk like giants,
But you're wearing Pluto's shoes.

While researching those lyrics, I stumbled across a news article that, sadly, The Beautiful South has broken up due to artistic similarities. And yet Britney's still around.