It has been so long since I last posted, and my memory is so unreliable that I won't be able to recover what I've lost. The best I can do is an update from last week.
Monday night/Tuesday morning: I got up early to go to the gym, and discovered a flat tire on my car. Excellent. It was so flat. I had apparently picked up a nail somewhere. So I had to remove the wheel and get my dad to drive me to the tire place, where they patched the tire for free (because I had bought the tires there). The guy behind the desk was cranky. He was going to charge me ($25). When we asked if I had to pay even though I had bought the tires there, he snarked back "Well, I can't read minds! How was I supposed to know you'd bought the tires here!" I don't know. Maybe you should recognize your product and maybe ask.
Wednesday: Because I'm at school, my parents must phone me and leave a frantic message. "Something's wrong with Sunny (the dog, not my cousin, who has the same name and, well...that's uncomfortable)." So I phoned them back to find out what was going on. See, the backstory to this is that the Sunny (the dog) was sick last week. While I was in Seattle on Friday, my mother phoned me: "Where are you?", she asked with a bit of panic in her voice. "Um, in Seattle, like I told you," I answered, thinking that it was about 8pm...surely she couldn't have just noticed that I'd been gone all day. "Well, I know that, " (okay, so she's not crazy or suffering from Alzheimer's) but I was just wondering if you were close by. Sunny's been sick all day. I think that he misses you." Wow, long-distance guilt...and on my dime. Thanks, mom. Love you, too.
So when this happened on Wednesday, I thought that he was throwing up again (sorry for the brutal reality). No, this time it was something different. I got to hear the details after they had returned from the vet. "Sunny was walking funny, so we looked him over and saw that his privates were swollen. So we rushed him to the vet." Great, I'm thinking, that's like the fourth time in the last week. But this time, when they talked to the vet, he had an answer. He asked them "Do you know what time of year it is?" Of course, they had no idea. "You know," he said, "it's Spring." Still no clue. "The female dogs are in heat." At this point, I clued in...he was sporting tiny dog wood. But not the parents. The poor doctor had to spell it out for them in detail. "Sunny's probably catching some sniffs of the female dogs and is excited." Then they got it. Thank god.
When I told my friend this story, she asked if my parents have one of those frequent customer cards for the vet. Come in for 5 visits and get the 6th one free.
Thursday: "Work" day at alive. There, I got bombarded with requests and duties. And because I'm there once a week, and because I'm still doing this stupid makeover thing, there's a lot of catching up to do. I'm considering printing up a t-shirt: "I'm still fat and I'm pissed about it. That's how I'm doing." But they all mean well, so I shouldn't complain.
I had a good conversation with the Director of Marketing. I found out that she often posts controversial comments in the discussion forum just to see if she can get people interested. In fact, she posted one really contentious comment which I actually had a mini meeting about with Terry-Lynn and Susan to see how they thought I should handle it. After hearing of this tactic, I immediately thought of this crazy lady I saw on a talk show years ago. She was proclaiming the health benefits of drinking your own urine. She then shot down a glass of her own pee, shocking the host into incredulous silence. I sent D of M an email asking what she thought...should I post a comment on that topic? She double-dared me. So, yay...I finally figured out how to have some fun with that.
And I invite you all to do the same. D of M said that she has posted about crazy fad diets (lemon juice and maple syrup) just to see what kinds of responses she gets. Fun!
Also on Thursday, I was reminded that the final installment for the life makeover series was due the previous week (whooops!), and at the same time, they asked me to write another article. Hmmmm, I don't even have time for the original assignment. What are the chances I'll be able to do the extra one? Then again, it's money.
Friday: After being confronted by my own stupidity (if you're going to school to work on a project, you should probably bring the stuff you need to work on the project), I spent an enjoyable evening listening at the Pearls reading night. My classmates were awesome. The others kind of stank up the joint. Army dude: you really lost me. Retired guy: your voice is not suited for readings...it's mind-numbing. Girl who won the award: a little too much with the clever references. The rest I can't remember. The popcorn twists were good.
And that was my week. When I started this post, it was snowing. It has now (thankfully) stopped.
Monday night/Tuesday morning: I got up early to go to the gym, and discovered a flat tire on my car. Excellent. It was so flat. I had apparently picked up a nail somewhere. So I had to remove the wheel and get my dad to drive me to the tire place, where they patched the tire for free (because I had bought the tires there). The guy behind the desk was cranky. He was going to charge me ($25). When we asked if I had to pay even though I had bought the tires there, he snarked back "Well, I can't read minds! How was I supposed to know you'd bought the tires here!" I don't know. Maybe you should recognize your product and maybe ask.
Wednesday: Because I'm at school, my parents must phone me and leave a frantic message. "Something's wrong with Sunny (the dog, not my cousin, who has the same name and, well...that's uncomfortable)." So I phoned them back to find out what was going on. See, the backstory to this is that the Sunny (the dog) was sick last week. While I was in Seattle on Friday, my mother phoned me: "Where are you?", she asked with a bit of panic in her voice. "Um, in Seattle, like I told you," I answered, thinking that it was about 8pm...surely she couldn't have just noticed that I'd been gone all day. "Well, I know that, " (okay, so she's not crazy or suffering from Alzheimer's) but I was just wondering if you were close by. Sunny's been sick all day. I think that he misses you." Wow, long-distance guilt...and on my dime. Thanks, mom. Love you, too.
So when this happened on Wednesday, I thought that he was throwing up again (sorry for the brutal reality). No, this time it was something different. I got to hear the details after they had returned from the vet. "Sunny was walking funny, so we looked him over and saw that his privates were swollen. So we rushed him to the vet." Great, I'm thinking, that's like the fourth time in the last week. But this time, when they talked to the vet, he had an answer. He asked them "Do you know what time of year it is?" Of course, they had no idea. "You know," he said, "it's Spring." Still no clue. "The female dogs are in heat." At this point, I clued in...he was sporting tiny dog wood. But not the parents. The poor doctor had to spell it out for them in detail. "Sunny's probably catching some sniffs of the female dogs and is excited." Then they got it. Thank god.
When I told my friend this story, she asked if my parents have one of those frequent customer cards for the vet. Come in for 5 visits and get the 6th one free.
Thursday: "Work" day at alive. There, I got bombarded with requests and duties. And because I'm there once a week, and because I'm still doing this stupid makeover thing, there's a lot of catching up to do. I'm considering printing up a t-shirt: "I'm still fat and I'm pissed about it. That's how I'm doing." But they all mean well, so I shouldn't complain.
I had a good conversation with the Director of Marketing. I found out that she often posts controversial comments in the discussion forum just to see if she can get people interested. In fact, she posted one really contentious comment which I actually had a mini meeting about with Terry-Lynn and Susan to see how they thought I should handle it. After hearing of this tactic, I immediately thought of this crazy lady I saw on a talk show years ago. She was proclaiming the health benefits of drinking your own urine. She then shot down a glass of her own pee, shocking the host into incredulous silence. I sent D of M an email asking what she thought...should I post a comment on that topic? She double-dared me. So, yay...I finally figured out how to have some fun with that.
And I invite you all to do the same. D of M said that she has posted about crazy fad diets (lemon juice and maple syrup) just to see what kinds of responses she gets. Fun!
Also on Thursday, I was reminded that the final installment for the life makeover series was due the previous week (whooops!), and at the same time, they asked me to write another article. Hmmmm, I don't even have time for the original assignment. What are the chances I'll be able to do the extra one? Then again, it's money.
Friday: After being confronted by my own stupidity (if you're going to school to work on a project, you should probably bring the stuff you need to work on the project), I spent an enjoyable evening listening at the Pearls reading night. My classmates were awesome. The others kind of stank up the joint. Army dude: you really lost me. Retired guy: your voice is not suited for readings...it's mind-numbing. Girl who won the award: a little too much with the clever references. The rest I can't remember. The popcorn twists were good.
And that was my week. When I started this post, it was snowing. It has now (thankfully) stopped.
posted by kuzcolike at
10:19 AM
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