Family thing last night. It took me a minute to figure out that there was no real occassion...no birthdays, anniversaries...nothing. The excuse they were using was that one cousin is leaving for her first business trip (to Boston of all places...have you seen the weather back east?). Others have gone on business trips before, so this wasn't that special of an occassion. Maybe they just wanted to do something social. Oh, and they all sat around talking about their wills. How fun!

But the conversation did take an interesting turn, and I can't remember how or why. What came around was my one cousin talking about her nightly ritual with her husband. They have been married about 30 years, had no kids, have good jobs, and two dogs. Let's just say that, as with the other married couples, they aren't exactly romantic. No expressions of affection are allowed in my family. Insults run rampant (in good humour), but lovey-talk is shunned.

Anyhow, the topic turned, and my cousin started talking about her nightly ritual. She said to me (with heavy undertones), that her husband goes to bed first every night. When she goes to bed, she reaches down and gives him a wedgie. At this point, he piped up with mock-indignation, "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." Yes, after 30 years, it's about time he set things straight. Of course, he was laughing. And she proceeded to explain herself. She said, "My theory is that when I'm gone, and the wedgies stop, he'll miss me." And I thought, "She's right. It's brilliant. It's classic psychology." And what's the bonus: In the meantime, she gets to vent all her frustrations with him by nightly cramming his underwear up his ass.

Well, I guess the message is to stick with whatever works. Or, if it's not broke, don't fix it (which in this case was his penis, which is why they didn't have kids. But they enjoy their lives and have made a good home to many lucky dogs, so, where's the problem?)