What's in a name?

Since childhood, I have hated my names, first and middle. They are both so common and so boring. My sister had interesting names. My mother had chosen them just so they couldn't be shortened and cheapened. Then The Police came out with that song. And when she went to nursing school, her friends shortened it to Roxy. So much for my mother's fine plan. She was outsmarted by a bunch of drunk nurses dressed as puppies (NOTE: That isn't a reference to any kinky sex thing. Each year's class of "probies", for initiation week or whatever you want to call it, were made to dress up like an animal that starts with a "p". Thank god it wasn't porcupines: someone could have gotten hurt.)

Names fascinate me. I think that they influence a person's character. And I'm also interested to hear what kinds of combinations get put together. For females, Lynn (or a variation thereof) seems to be popular for middle names. I have no idea what it is for males. Anyhow, I'm off track.

I find names interesting. I went to school with a Warren Beatty. Perhaps his parents were film buffs. I always wondered if his parents knew that if he turned out kinda ugly, he would be in for a world of hurt. I also went to school with a Tom Collins (parents=alcoholics). And then there was this one kid whose name was Jeffrey Jeffries. I couldn't get over that. Who in their right might would name their kid like some sort of palindrome (begins and ends the same)? The only answer: really mean, twisted parents.

So when I started the new job, I scanned the phone list to help myself become better acquainted with my co-workers. My eyes immediately landed on "Corky McCorkindale" and thought "seriously, what the hell is that?" I didn't want to believe that anyone could intentionally name their kid something so obnoxious. Immediately, I thought that of kid on that tv show. You know the show. It exploited the actor's condition for ratings AND taught a heart-warming life lesson each week. How uplifting [interrobang]

It has been months since I saw this name on the phone list. He doesn't work in the office. He is an outside sales rep (so he isn't like his tv alter-ego). Finally, the other day, I got the nerve to ask about the name. So I asked “What’s the deal with his name? I hope it’s a nickname.” Both of my co-workers looked a little stunned. Perhaps I had said the unspeakable thing? Perhaps I pointed out that the Emperor’s was really naked. After a pause, someone did answer. Corky is his nickname; his real name is Ian. If I were him, despite the association with that tv show, I’d stick with Corky.