(This post was from yesterday. I thought that I had posted it, but I had apparently hit "save as draft instead. What does that say about me, that I can't tell the difference between 3 words and 1 word? Maybe that I won't be a good proofreader.)

I'm a miserable, miserable, petty, miserable person.

Today, my dad was feeling pretty good, so we thought that we'd take him out for breakfast...his favourite meal of the day. He's one of those folks who like fried eggs, fried sausages, fried potatoes, and if he could have it, fried toast. Thankfully, we aren't in Great Britain, where translucent, bacon-fat fried crispy bread is a breakfast staple.

So because my mother had a coupon (they rule my parent's lives...they wouldn't know what to eat or buy without them), we went to De Dutch. We had to wait, which is unusual because it's Saturday. And while we were waiting, we were sequestered with a family of incompetent dad, invisible older son (think 8 years old), and extremely visible and audible younger son. Oh, and the overly eager uncle. These kids were coughing and hacking all over the place, which almost always puts me off my food. Therefore, I was pissed because I really wanted a pancake.

Then, we got sat next to them. Great. We had ringside seats to view the younger kid's outbreaks. He reminded me of Stephanie Weir's "Dot" character on Mad TV. The only difference was that the dad did not give a shit what the kid was doing. Cutlery was flying. The kid was screeching (and he was safely old enough to be able to "use his words"). And after he got his breakfast, icing sugar and bits of pancake were flying, too. The older boy quietly at his toast. Poor kid is going to grow up so dysfunctional.

The worst part was that I couldn't even look away from this scene because dead center in front of me was a nauseating young couple. I knew that they were going to piss me off when I saw that they hadn't sat across from each other (like normal people do in anything but the most romantic, darkly lit, private, expensive, exotic restaurants), but sat next to each other FACING ME. It was almost as if they had read my mind and were mocking me. I had to choke down my delicious pancake while trying to ignore them feeding each other (GAG!) and using each other as human vacuums/groomers, kissing morsels off each other's faces (FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!).

And despite their efforts (because I'm certain that they caught on that they were bugging me and started doing it more just to piss me off), I held it together, choked down my pancake, and made it home without getting sick. So who's the better person now?