Abomination

I took the cute dog for an after-work walk tonight, and on our route, we passed a house which was hanging out their Christmas lights. What the hell? Hallowe'en hasn't even come and gone, and people are already decorating their houses for The Season.

But who am I to complain or judge? I drove to Tacoma on the weekend to go shopping. We ended up at a Holiday Gift Fair similar to the Circle Craft Fair except that it was decidedly more low-brow. These were definitely crafters selling their wares, not artisans, such as you find at Circle Craft. Amongst the crafters were sprinkled an odd assortment of salesfolk, including one guy with a suspiciously heavy Southern drawl who was selling The Next Best Wire Cutter, an internet service provider, and a smattering of charlatans that you would usually find in the Showmart building at the PNE (if there was still a building). You know the ones with the microphones attached to their faces who are shilling chamois, super mops, and glass and jewelry cleaners.

The oddest booth had a fairly large crowd around it. All I could see were old movie photos on the wall, and I thought that someone was selling memorabilia. They were, in a way. They were selling autographs by one of the child stars from It's a Wonderful Life: Karolyn Grimes. It was too weird for me. That, and all the kettle corn. Damn, those people love to pay $8 for a bag of popped corn.

On the way back, we stopped at my favourite place, the University District. All the good stores are still there, and it looks like Lululemon is opening soon. They're making the world their own, downward doggy style.

Last week, I stopped into Future Shop (grrrr, I hate) to look for music. I found something (Amos Lee...quite excellent), and went to purchase. There was a girl at the counter. She was buying a fair-sized flat-screen monitor. She was also wearing pyjama bottoms, and they were dirty and worn out on the ass. She was wearing slippers. She was wearing a fleecy. And her hair was greasy and stringy.

It made me think: who is better off? Whenever I go out, even if it's to the mall, I worry that some part of my clothing is dirty, or my zipper is undone, or my jeans are too short (making me look more nerdish) or that my hair is looking really thin (which makes me look like I'm in denial of my baldedness, about which I DON'T want to talk), etc. You get the point. I worry about my appearance in public. And then there's Greasy Girl, who apparently didn't care about her appearance, but desperately needed a new monitor.

I have to say that I've never been that desperate for anything to be parading around in my dirty pyjamas. But you know what, I really admired her for her "who-gives-a-shit" attitude. But that was about all that I admired about her, cause she looked naaaaaaaaaasty.

I'm writing an article about the recent warning by Health Canada about cough syrups and kids. I’m tired, I’m stuck, and I just want to get it done. I have to think of a title and some subheads. So far, the only idea that I’m really satisfied with (on a very juvenile level), is calling the article “Suck on this”. It would be only sort of funny.

That reminds me of something from work today. My co-worker was telling me that he finally got some fairly thorough feedback on a User Guide from some SMEs. But it was only fairly thorough. As a joke and a test, in one of the diagram callouts he wrote something like “press the unfortunately named ______ button”, and nobody caught it. On some level, this gave him pleasure. But it also scared him a bit wondering what would happen if he forgot to change it back.

This reminded me of my near-miss moment. Over the last few days, I’ve been testing a digital video recorder. This unit allows users to name the cameras that are hooked up to it. Being a 7-year old boy at heart, I named my cameras “Poo”, “Ass”, “Boo”, and “Pee”. I almost forgot to change them back before taking about 50 screen shots. If I hadn't changed those names, they could have made it to the final document, been printed and distributed to the general public.

But why should I worry? Nobody reads those things anyhow. Well, that's what everyone says.

The new posts are coming quickly and furiously (maybe that's just my demeanor). In an extremely ironic moment at work today, I was faced with a situation which was close in theme to those described on a website the ever-watchful meladuck told me about.

One of the project managers with whom I work came over (stealthily...he needs a bell around his neck) to my cubicle and asked me, quietly, about an email I had sent earlier in the day. This email was a follow-up on an URGENT project (in his world) whose urgency had apparently dwindled. He had bugged me to finish updating a user guide by the end of September, which I almost accomplished. However, I didn't get it finished until the beginning of October, which was officially just one day late (if you don't count the weekend).

I had wondered why I hadn't received any feedback, so I sent him an email earlier this week asking him if he'd had a chance to look over the document. He crept into my cubicle this afternoon to ask if I had sent it to him. I assured him that I had. He asked if I had emailed it to him or given him a hard copy. Surprising myself, I was able to provide all the details: before I handed it over to him, he had asked me to highlight all of the new parts (so he didn't have to strain his weary mind by reading all 90+ pages). I hadn't written the original draft, so I didn't know what was new. So I had to find an earlier version, read/scan through the whole document, and highlight the new bits. It took a few hours, but I had done it, and handed it over to him.

And then he lost it.

I was surprised that I didn't lose it. I kept my composure, and happily encouraged him to look again because it would save me several hours if he found it. He agreed to have another look in his office, and turned away.

He wasn't 10 feet away when my co-worker turned to me and whisper/yelled "You've got to be fucking kidding me! He lost the document, and he wants you to clean up after him."

I was proud that I had been able to back myself up (and even identify the project/product the project manager was talking about). It was a very special moment. It was almost as if I knew what I was doing.

And then I hooked up the new dvr and it screamed. Well, we can't always be winning.

I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a while. I've been too busy and lazy.

And this one's going to be short.

Wondering how my job is going? I'll tell you: I drooled on myself today.

Any questions?